Solo vs. Partnered

I sometimes think about getting involved in a romantic partnership again. It's been a while. I'm thinking about it now for very selfish reasons. In less than a week, I'm having my foot surgery, and I'll be mostly alone. My son and his girlfriend, as well as my young associate, will be available to help when necessary, but of course I'll limit what I ask them to do. Several friends have offered help too, and I do appreciate it. Still, it's not the same as having someone there all the time -- and maybe that's not an entirely bad thing. A friend confided to me recently that if she had it to do over again, she probably wouldn't remarry her second husband. (That might be phrased in a confusing way. What I mean is that she would have stayed single after her first marriage ended.) We were talking about the annoying things about having another person around after not. She had recently visited her daughter, and while she loves spending time with her grandchildren, all the activity and noise gets on her nerves. I can relate. I feel the same, and when my sons come to visit, no matter how happy I am to see them (and I always am), I get disturbed beyond reason at dishes left in the sink or unmade beds or laundry in the bathroom floor. I take a deep breath and remind myself that time with family is a great blessing, and I usually mean it. It helps.

So this idea that someone would not just choose to be single but would make a choice not to be with his/her current partner, with no plans to separate, caught me off guard. Isn't it nice to have someone to share joys and sorrows with? Isn't it a comfort to know as you go into surgery that someone is waiting to make sure you're okay? Isn't it wonderful to have someone to wake up to and share coffee and morning thoughts with? I know that my friend's perspective isn't universal. I wonder though if it's more common than I had thought. I fear that I'll never be willing to give up enough of my freedom and eccentricities to make it feasible to live with someone. But I know that never is a long time, and if I were to meet the right person, who knows? Whichever way it ultimately ends up, I'm pretty sure nothing will change by next Friday. I'll accept the help I need, with gratitude, and I'll also be grateful for the silence and lack of irritation as I recover. Living alone does have its upside.