Hideout Day

I'm not sure why, but I've been in a funk the past two days. Usually I'm pretty good at pulling myself back up, but today I just kind of gave up and tried to take a nap. Maybe that's what I needed, but it didn't happen. On the upside, I found out that the pool people got my mom's pool fixed, and that my friend has been up there doing lawn "repair" and maintenance. He happened to be there at the same time the pool folks were, so they showed him how to turn the pump on and off and backflush the pool -- I don't know what it means, only that it has to be done -- which was a happy coincidence. I was planning on asking him to roll that in with his maintenance duties. He's a great guy; my only problem with having him do the work is going to be getting him to charge me a fair price (for him, not me).

I've been thinking a lot about my surgery, especially the aftermath. I know the pain will be intense and there are many things I won't be able to do for a few weeks afterwards. I'm trying to do some of those things now, not so much in preparation -- although I'm doing a lot of that too -- but just in savoring experiences I won't be able to have for a while. I have a nice garden tub in my bathroom, but I'm more of a shower person. I rarely use the tub for a relaxing stretched-out bath. This morning, I filled it and sprinkled in some herbal bath salts I bought a few days ago at Earth Fare. It was glorious. I did some sitting yoga stretches in the water and just lay back and closed my eyes, soaking until the water went cold.

As for my surgery, I know it will be bad. But I also know (or at least hope) that once the worst of it has passed, I'll be able to enjoy a better quality of life and do things I haven't been able to do (comfortably or at all) for a long time. As that is weighing on my mind, I'm also trying to keep up with many other tasks: I'm editing a book, writing some articles, and continuing to purge my house of unnecessary items, as well as managing my household and bills and both of those for my mom's house and estate too. Maybe I'm not so much worried about the surgery as just plain worn out. Hiding and resting was what I needed today; tomorrow I'll find a way to push myself back into doing what needs to be done -- in a happy, hopeful way.