Missed Opportunities

I never knew Tampa was such a concert hotspot. On Sunday when I arrived, an Iron Maiden concert was about to start. I didn't mind missing that one, and it was fun to watch the "metalheads" walking to the show. Tonight U2 is playing! I didn't know. I've never seen them and I wouldn't mind, but the only thing on my mind for tonight is to get some serious sleep.I haven't slept well since I got here and my mind really needs some rest. I tried to go to bed early last night but had a hard time decompressing from the hyper-focus I'd had all day. I was almost asleep around 10:30 when one of my sons texted to say he was going to be on the Jacksonville Public Radio station at 11:00 with his band, an interview and a few live-in-the-studio songs. What mother would sleep through that? He had sent the link to the live broadcast, so I listened. I was glad I did for a few reasons: apparently his brothers and father were all asleep, and it was really good! I was glad he knew I was listening and I sent a short note after so he knew I heard the whole thing and was excited for him.

I spent most of the night in a fugue-state, not asleep and not awake. (I think that's what a fugue-state is; I'm tired and my brain is oatmeal-like, so maybe I'm misremembering.) I was having the weirdest dreams, but they didn't seem like dreams because I was half-awake. In one, my best friend was talking shit about my first husband (my kids' dad) and didn't know he was right in the same room. He's easy to overlook, and I don't mean that in a nasty way. He's shy to point that most interaction is painful for him, and it's hard for him to melt into the background at six and a half feet tall. But if he's sitting down, people usually don't know he's there.

Today is Wednesday. That means three full days down, four more to go. If we finish early on Sunday (I won't know until Sunday), I might go home then instead of Monday morning. I'm already ready to go home. The hotel is nice, and I've met a lot of people, including a woman who's going to touch base with me after the project about rooming together next year. She had a bad roommate experience too, hers having to do with the other person having night terrors. She raised a good point: Why shouldn't people who know they have problems that will interfere with the wellbeing of others be the ones who have to get single rooms? My company doesn't do a good job of vetting, in my opinion, but I'll be happy if I meet someone I can stand -- who isn't a drunk or a thief or any other kind of jerk -- to room with so I'm not shelling out a couple of hundred dollars for a single room. While I have it, though, I'm going to enjoy it, especially tonight. I'm staying in and going to sleep by 9:00. Sweet dreams . . .