Admirable Traits

This is, of course, highly subjective. But these are, in no particular order, ten traits I most admire in others and strive to demonstrate myself.

 1. Honesty. If someone is not trustworthy, I don't think any of the other traits matter. It's often (or at least sometimes) hard to be honest, but you're not doing yourself or anyone else any favors by being deceptive. The obvious qualifier here is learning to keep your mouth shut when necessary. Better to shut up than to lie.

 2. Kindness. I recently bought a notepad that has a quote on the pages: "Kindness -- it doesn't cost a thing. Sprinkle that shit everywhere!" Just looking at the notepad makes me happy. I might use it for notes to obnoxious students.

 3. Humor. I could go on and on about this one, but I won't. Humor is tricky because not everyone finds the same things funny. I think that's a good way to identify people with whom you're most compatible -- whether they think your jokes are funny and vice versa. I'm fortunate to have a lot of people around me who are funny and who find me funny -- even my kids, who don't always admit it. Laughter will get you through more crappy situations than other other trait. The only kind of humor I don't appreciate is mean and at someone else's expense.

 4. Puncuality. I am absolutely neurotic when it comes to punctuality. I get that everyone isn't and I try to make allowances. Still, I know I've met a kindred spirit when I see someone else fifteen minutes early for a meeting.

 5. Happiness (aka a positive attitude). I truly believe that our lives are what we make them. Some people have bad breaks -- most people have bad breaks! Anyone can make a choice to be happy -- and not turn the bad things in their lives into OPP (other people's problems). Rude and nasty people piss me off, but only for a minute. I've gotten good at letting things roll off my back.

 6. Courtesy. This one, too, doesn't cost anything except a little effort. Certain people are easier to be nice to than others; some situations lend themselves to courtesy more than others. This ties in with my next one . . .

 7. Respect (of self and others). The former is harder for me than the latter. When my kids were young I used to tell them that they didn't get to choose who deserved their respect; they treated others with respect not for the sake of others but for themselves, because that's the kind of people they should be. (I didn't phrase that well, but maybe the point came across.) Do unto others . . . y'all.

 8. Healthy living. I need work on this one too. Mostly I do okay (not glowing self-evaluation, I know!) I admire people who work out, stay in shape, and otherwise work to make their bodies into the best possible temples for their soul.

 9. Gratitude. I'm not sure this needs any qualifiers or explanations. It's one of those things that you get or you don't. In my view, life is much better if you go through appreciating what you have rather than thinking you deserve more.

10. Acceptance of mortality. The Buddhists say that one cannot really live until he has accepted the inevitability of his eventual demise. I'm not quite there. Of course, intellectually I've accepted it; emotionally it's a bit trickier. I'm not scared, but I'm sure I'll have things I still wanted to do. I won't know. I'll be dead. I have a lot of respect for people who can talk easily about death -- their own, I mean. It's hard. My son was telling me a few days ago that his grandmother, my ex-mother-in-law, had expressed that she'd like to see me again before she kicks the bucket. I'd be up for that. Maybe she can share her thoughts on the subject, but I think I know. She is a deeply religious person (in the best way) and her faith has been a great comfort to her throughout her life.

[On a side note, I'm aware I've been away a long time. Several people have told me they miss the blog, and I guess I miss it too. So I'm back. Hello -- again.]