It Works, But . . .

This morning I weighed and measured myself: seven pounds and seventeen total inches gone! (The measurements aren't as impressive as they sound. We measure a lot of places. Still, it's pretty good.) When I saw that, I was thrilled. When I finally got around to having my morning shake (the twice-a-day meal replacement for "non-deep-cleansing days") it felt so good. I'm not sure if I said so yesterday, but on the deep-cleansing -- or fasting -- days, I'm taking in about 500 calories, way too few to do too long. Two days is probably okay, but more than that would not be healthy. So anyway, the shake tasted like a feast after two days of yucky juice. But I didn't have long to savor it; fifteen minutes after I drank it, it had gone straight through me. While this was alarming, I thought maybe it would just take a little while for my body to accept food after going without. So we went on with our day, my youngest son and his girlfriend and I meeting my middle son and his girlfriend for lunch.

We went to Longhorn because I know they do a good job with salmon. Everyone else had a salad and bread first. I was patiently waiting for my salmon, asparagus, and broccoli. At least, I was patient at first. After I while I literally felt like I was going to pass out. I went in the restroom and splashed cold water on my face. When I came back to the table the entrees were there. I finished most of my meal, thinking about how nice it would be to get some food on my stomach and some good nutrition. It didn't exactly work out that way. Maybe half of it stayed with me. At this point, I was getting really concerned. Unfortunately my program coach was at a conference and couldn't call me back right away, although she did text me back with some advice. She called me when her conference was over and told me to eat a meal, not a shake, for dinner. I don't know why I thought I needed permission to go off-program, but apparently I did feel that way. I ate about an hour ago and so far, so good.

I'm not happy about feeling faint and tired. I am, however, happy with the results of my first week on the program. I think there's a happy medium in there somewhere. "Happy mediums" are not my forte. I tend to abstain or indulge and I'm fine with either, not so much with moderation. Now that I've figured out I can go without dairy, red meat, gluten, sugar, alcohol, and whatever else is off-limits on this plan, I think I'll be able to manage my weight. Of course, leaving all those ingredients out of one's diet would lead to weight loss even without the shakes and supplements. I hate to quit -- or even be half-assed -- about something I've committed to, but this might have to be an exception. I want to lose weight to make me healthier, so it's crazy to risk my health to do it. I'll see what tomorrow brings.