Day of Reckoning

It's 4:30 on a Sunday afternoon, and I've slept away most of the weekend. Tomorrow is the day I make some serious lifestyle changes, and I'm not thrilled about it. That's not why I've slept all weekend; the combination of the effects of the ridiculous dosage of Vitamin D I took on Friday, along with a flu shot and a dose of antibiotics for a skin infection have not sat well. Combine that with having to get back to my grueling work schedule tomorrow while also changing so many of my habits/routines to follow doctor's orders and, well, I'm not a happy camper. My sleepy-time has been mostly a result of not feeling so hot and (if I'm honest) being mad at and feeling a little sorry for myself. I know it's stupid, but everyone deserves a day now and then of indulging in some self-loathing and self-pity. Mine just happened to be today.

To correct some of my guilt about wasting time, I'm going to clean my house quite thoroughly over the next few hours. Manual labor is good for the soul (and the mental outlook) and my new floors are a mess. White tile is gorgeous but shows every bit of dirt, and I haven't had as much time in the past week to stay on top of cleaning it like I had been. So not only will I have a more positive attitude when I finish, but also my floors will look beautiful again.

I suppose I could (and should) be looking at tomorrow as a new beginning, a start to living a much healthier lifestyle. I'll work on that. Today, as the "new beginning" looms closer, it just seems like a prison sentence. I guess that's why it's a day of reckoning: I've "done the crime"; now I have to "do the time." Once I get underway with it, I'm sure I'll be fine, and once I'm a few days (then weeks, then months, then years) into it, I'll feel freer and healthier than ever. If I don't look at it that way, I'll never stick with it.