Stalling

All day long I've been trying to think of something to write about, and only one thing -- something I prefer not to write about -- has been on my mind. I try very hard to understand the psychological aspects of addiction, but I just can't. Today I've been wondering in particular when a habit or compulsion or obsession reaches the point of addiction. Many of my friends and family members have been afflicted with addictions that have ruined their lives; others have cleaned up and made their lives better. I suppose the main part I don't understand is why some people can walk away from it and others can't.

When I was a teenager (and I may have written about this before; if so, I apologize for repeating myself) I had a group of friends who liked to indulge in a variety of substances. (It was, after all, the seventies.) Even though we were all doing the same thing in those days, using the same substances to the same extent, many of us were able to leave all of that behind us and go on to lead productive lives. Others got caught up in it but later got help and then walked away. Yet others either died from their addiction or continue to indulge. What makes it different for some of us?

I'm not judging here. I really would like to understand. I've spent a lot of my life (too much) around addicts and have been, as they say on the intervention shows, negatively affected by their behavior. My choice has been -- and may continue to be -- to just distance myself from them so as not to be negatively affected, but that may not always be possible. Either way, it wouldn't hurt to try to learn and understand more than I do.