With Respect

Today I did not want to go to work. My skin is bright red from the steroids I'm taking and the Bactrim is not cooperating with my intestinal tract -- or my system overall, for that matter. And because it's finals week, I had to start class a half hour earlier than usual for my assigned exam time, 8:00 instead of 8:30. Of course, even though I didn't want to go, I did. My students were giving their presentations and turning in research papers today, and my feeling crappy didn't justify leaving them hanging.

All of this made me think about people who are really sick or in pain and get up every day and do their thing anyway. Everyone I know who is within ten years of my age has some kind of chronic pain, and I know pain isn't something you can really quantify or compare, but many of them still live their lives and manage to work, whatever their work is. This was already on my mind when, out of nowhere, our server at dinner tonight (my son and I went out for a quick bite since we didn't feel like cooking) mentioned having had chemo. I don't know if she's still sick, but I wonder sometimes why it is that certain people give up and others keep going. I've known people with what many would consider mild conditions who gave up on life and spent their time wallowing in self-pity and bitterness; on the other hand, I've known people who face the most adverse health situations one could imagine and go to work or otherwise do for others, all while keeping a positive attitude. I have great admiration for those in the latter group.

I wonder if there have been studies done to see what the variables are among those two groups. Admittedly, those are the two extremes; I would think most of us fall somewhere in the middle. In any event, I went to work and it was fine. I gave my last two finals and I have finished most of my grading. Within two days I'll have entered my grades. I won't have to worry for a few weeks about going to work. Of course, by then I'll want to work. Funny how that works.