What Lies Beneath

I try to be a compassionate person, but some people really test me. With those folks, the appearance of compassion is the best I can muster. I'm talking about those who complain about everything all the time, never (or rarely) exerting any effort to improve their situation. I recently saw a Facebook post from an acquaintance who was questioning why other people's lives fell so perfectly into place and she could never catch a break. A wise woman once told me, and perhaps I've mentioned this before, that everybody has their own shit going on; just because you don't see it doesn't mean it isn't there. I'm glad I heard this -- really heard it -- early in my life. It has spared me a lot of envy and, more importantly, wallowing in whatever challenge I was facing at any given time.

This doesn't mean I'm not willing to listen and talk with someone who needs an ear and maybe some advice. I always am -- unless that person falls into the above category of someone who doesn't appreciate the gifts in their lives and instead sees only the bad. I truly do believe happiness is a choice that anyone can make, regardless of circumstance. I would say the same about despair. If you think your life sucks, you'll probably be right. If you think that you are blessed beyond measure, you'll probably be right.

Despite my attempts at compassion and patience, I get annoyed by the smallest things. Lateness, waiting, other people's bad driving -- all of these (and other minutiae) piss me off to no end. No one knows this better than my sons, who have offered up a solution: I need to get a Playstation and connect it to the internet. Next I need to buy Call of Duty and play it with them online. All three of my kids have told me that nothing lets you start off your day on a good note, releasing tension and anger, like some "shoots in the morning". Maybe they're right, but I don't think I'll do it anytime soon, and not because I have a problem with violent video games. It's sort of the opposite. I'm concerned that I would like it too much and do it to the exclusion of everything else. The real world gets on my nerves sometimes, but I'd rather battle it out in fact than in fiction.