Telling Tales

About seven years ago, I read a book that changed one of my more destructive, or at least futile, habits. Shortcut through Therapy helped me stop wondering about people's motivations for whatever weird things they did. I hadn't thought about it too much before reading that book, but the fact is that we can never know what's in someone else's head, and we can spend a lot of time driving ourselves crazy if we try. I don't know if that's something everyone does, but I suspect I'm not the only one. However, while for the most part I don't wonder anymore, there are times I just can't help it.

Here is the current OP (other person/people) behavior that has me curious: If someone tells you something in confidence, why would you bring it up in a conversation with a group, many of whom the confider doesn't know? And further, why would you do this to half the people in the group? The only thing I can come up with is that it's a way of saying, "I know this and you don't! Or you didn't until now." Does it make you, the blabber, feel important, unique, special? I'm not sure, but I am sure I don't like it.

This happened to me tonight. In one case I was the confider, and the blabber related something personal (from a few years ago) I had shared. I let it go -- mostly -- even though I didn't appreciate it. In another case, she did this to a different person in our group. The other person's confidence was something more personal and immediate, and I could tell she was upset. We excused ourselves briefly and vented, then came back to the group much calmer. Now I wonder if the incident was intended to annoy us. I could wonder forever, and I'd never know. As soon as I hit the "Publish" button, I'm letting it go.