New Candy Hearts

Tonight I'm reprising one of my early blog posts, updated a bit. For the most part, I still feel this way. Although I might prefer to be doing something other than cooking chile chicken and crocheting on Valentine's Day, I have had worse holidays when I've been paired up. I know that being with someone isn't always better than being alone. And as an advantage, I don't have to worry about eating too much garlic, onions, and hot peppers.

Candy Hearts

Valentine’s Day may not be the worst day for singles, but it’s high on the list. Even when I am involved with someone, I’m not given to sickeningly sweet displays of affection. The only men to whom I send gifts of love are my sons. The “you-should-be-in-love” messages of media shove the diamond and flowers commercials down our throats ad nauseum. I don’t have anything against romance – and maybe someday I will care again about indulging in it – I just don’t subscribe to the notion that because I’m single I am lacking an important component in my life.

On the plus side, Valentine’s Day marks the end of that horrible period of marketing that begins just after Thanksgiving, showing happy couples and families having fun – and of course buying something to ensure or enhance their happiness and fun. A few years ago, when I was still dabbling in online dating, I joked to a friend that I always left the sites during that timeframe, “until the howling winds of desperation blew over.” I was only half-joking. Nothing makes me run away faster than a desperate suitor, and the holidays bring them out in full force. Once I went out with a guy at the beginning of December – once – and he called the next day to ask what I wanted for Christmas. Maybe I’m just a bitch, but that freaked me out.

I don’t hate Valentine’s Day. It was my dear grandmother’s birthday. I enjoy bestowing gifts of love on my sons and granddaughters, which I do year ‘round. It’s nice to have a special day for it. Earlier this week I went to the UPS store and sent off boxes for them filled with homemade treats and a few other items I think they will like. While I have thought about attending “anti-Valentine’s Day” singles’ events, I can’t make myself do it. It seems so cynical. I’m not bitter about being single, I just don’t want to have constant messages shoved in my face implying there’s something wrong with me because I’m not partnered up. Enjoy your day of love, and if you enjoy it with a spouse or intimate friend, don’t look at us “loners” with pity. Eat a candy heart for me and remember that some of us are alone because we like to be.