To-Don't List

The nice thing about making lists is that it can be a good distraction from actually doing anything. This morning I knew I wasn't going to have a high-functioning day. It wasn't just because of what I wrote about yesterday; sometimes the world just doesn't seem like a place where I want to be -- I don't want a permanent escape, of course, but a little break is healthy. Or maybe it isn't. I'm not sure. It was what I needed today. As I wrote my list, it was easy to get carried away (I was seeing it as a list for this week, not for today, so my guess is that on Friday I'll be finishing 90% of it!) with all the things it would be nice to get done. I did change my bed and grade papers for my Monday class. Otherwise, nothing is checked off. And that's okay.

Usually I can snap myself out of a down mood by reminding myself of all the good things in my life, and I recognize that there are many. Expressing gratitude is a great way to feel better, but none of those courses of action was working for me. Instead, I watched old episodes of Law and Order all day and took a nap. The world seemed a little better when I woke up, so I reheated a piece of chicken and boiled some corn on the cob. I pigged out on all three cobs! They were delicious, although my stomach may not appreciate that choice later. Now I'm looking at my list and I have to laugh. Some of the tasks I wrote down will likely not get done anytime soon, but writing it made me feel like I was doing something. And that's okay.