Tempted

As I move through the last week of my one-month cleansing program, I find that I'm oddly satisfied and committed. Today I decided to do another one-day cleanse, and it's been fine. This may have been the easiest one; my back hurts so I'm resting with the heating pad on and not expending much energy. About a half-hour ago someone knocked loudly on my door. I opened it, ready to ream out a salesperson (I guess I'm a little hangry), but it was a delivery guy. "You ordered from Rosina's pizza?" I immediately said I hadn't. Then I had second thoughts. Man, it smelled good! I don't even know what it was, but I know it wasn't deep-cleanse juice. I'm sure it was something full of cheese and bread or pasta, maybe some sauce. The delivery guy looked disappointed and I said, "I could have said it was mine!"

The "old me" would have handled the situation the same way -- but not the aftermath. That me would have been so tempted, especially during a fasting day, that she would have ordered her own Italian delivery -- maybe a calzone or a pizza, probably followed up with a cannoli. I honestly thought I was eating well before I started this program, or maybe I was just lying to myself. I was convinced that a treat every day was fine, and pizza was an acceptable dinner if I didn't feel like cooking. The new me is being a lot more honest about my health, and it's hard. I never would have believed I could go without dairy, gluten, beef or pork, or sugar for thirty days, but by the end of this week I will have done so. (I did have one little slip over the weekend; it's hard to find food that fits all those categories -- or, more precisely, exempts them -- at a festival, but I did pretty well overall.)

I have no idea how much weight or how many inches I've lost. I weighed myself about ten days ago and the scale had exactly the same number it had a week before. It was discouraging enough to keep me off the scale but not enough to give me an excuse to stop following the program. Tomorrow I will weigh and measure. I'll let you know how it goes.