Struggles

Some of my friends are going through some pretty serious issues at the moment. Or at least the issues seem big in the moment. They are not adapting well, which I think is due in part to the holidays. If you can't be with your loved ones at Christmastime, it's miserable. The same is true if you are in the hospital or broke. Of course, those things are bad at any time of year, but I they seem worse when you have the perspective that everyone else is celebrating and having a great time. One of my friends asked me today how I can be so laid-back about everything. I told her I'm not really that laid back; if there's a problem, I try to address it. But I do usually think first about how big a problem it really is, and I strategize my response. In other words, if I'm going to react negatively, I think about the consequences and the timing. Maybe that doesn't make sense, sort of hard to explain, I guess.

Anyway, as I thought about my friends' troubles -- while I was walking across the shopping center parking lot, having struck out on boots but having found some great slippers for one son and one granddaughter -- a young man hobbled toward me. He said, "I hate to ask you this, but do you have a dollar?" He was, as I said, young but dressed in baggy, dirty jeans and a worn flannel shirt. He looked clean, like he tried to keep himself up as well as he could. His legs were widely bowed and he kind of had to rock from side to side to walk. I know I'm sometimes a soft touch for scoundrels, but I believed this young man needed the money, and he had only asked for a dollar. I opened my purse as I said, "I'm not sure; I don't usually carry cash." I had two one-dollar bills and gave him both. He was grateful while also appearing embarrassed, and he wished me a merry Christmas as he lurched away. I thought as I drove home that the problems my friends and I have may seem huge at certain times, but we will likely never have the challenges this young man has. Perspective is a good and humbling thing.