Trying to Be Better

I guess most of us try to be better, at least in some way(s). I am trying, in particular, to be better at being mature. For the most part, I don't take things personally. Perhaps as a result of teaching or parenting for many years, or a combination of the two, I've learned to let minor insults -- real or perceived -- roll off my back. With people I don't know well, it is the same. Of course, being blase and objective is easier with people who don't ultimately make much difference in our lives; it's learning to apply those same principles to those we do know well, especially those we care about. And, I find, the more deeply we care, the more difficult it is.

Logically I know it's not "all about me". Emotionally, I sometimes find myself wondering what I did wrong in a given situation, even if what I did has nothing at all to do with the outcome. I think that, despite my other achievements (or maybe in some cases because of them) I can be somewhat emotionally immature. For someone who knows a lot about people and the world, and I believe I do, I am often naive and am occasionally even infantile in my reactions to those I care most about. My mantra this week needs to be something along the lines of "Chill the fuck out. It's not that big a deal." I realize that's a lengthy and profane mantra, but the overall message is pretty fucking zen.