She Said

Wow! Two Beatles songs in a row! Or you could think of this as a Black Keys song. They do a killer version.

Today has been a good day of "she said" for me, the "she" being me. I think of myself as an assertive person; however, I also like to avoid confrontation. And I'm (usually) smart enough to keep my mouth shut if saying my piece is not in my best interest and/or if it will result in a problem I don't have time to deal with. Sometimes I wait longer than maybe I should to say what needs to be said. For whatever reason, today was the time I decided it was right to speak up in two situations, one professional and one personal.

I probably mentioned last week that I found out I wasn't being interviewed for the full-time position at the campus close to my house. At least I was finally, just today, encoded for three of the four classes I'd accepted at that campus for fall. I asked about the other one, and the assistant dean said this: "Share with me the course information again. I need to check. (We hired a new ENC faculty person.)" I replied with the requested information, along with my own parenthetical: "(I know; I was disappointed not to have been interviewed.)" As it turned out, the new faculty person had, indeed, scarfed up my fourth class. I did what I think any rational person would do; I scanned the schedule for TBA instructor classes, found one that didn't conflict with my assigned courses, and offered to teach it. To that she replied (and this is seriously a direct quote), "I'm so glad you are happy with the 9 credit hours for the fall. Smile." Is this woman disturbed? Does that seem a little psycho to you? I didn't bother to reply. Instead, I emailed the enrollment coordinator at the base campus where I'm teaching now -- I had turned down two classes for fall with him -- and told him I was available for one of those classes if he hadn't already filled them both. (The college doesn't allow adjuncts to teach more than four classes.) Maybe I'll get another class and maybe I won't, but I'm not happy about having been left hanging, and at least both campuses will know that now.

The other situation was bit touchier, literally. I keep thinking the guy I went out with a few weeks ago is going to stop contacting me, which would have been ideal, but he was back at it again today after nearly a week. He probably thinks I've been making excuses, but I really have been busy with work and water damage repair. So today he asked if I was okay (I guess because he hadn't heard from me), and said if he had done something to bother me, he was sorry. Hmm. I know I didn't elaborate here about my discomfort with him, but I did with my son's girlfriend, who said she agreed that those things would make anyone uncomfortable. So I won't say exactly what the story is, but you'll glean at least some of it from this reply I sent him: [First I said the part about being okay and recapped working a lot and getting the water damage taken care of.] "Beyond that, I've been thinking that while it was nice to be admired, fighting your hand out of my pants and the suggestions for personal grooming make me uncomfortable. I'm not a prude, but some things should wait until we've known each other for more than a few hours!" I should have said that at least a week ago, but it was one of those situations that I kept thinking would just go away. I'm usually more proactive than that. Of course, he apologized profusely, saying that he felt close to me so fast. And he wanted to call. I told him I had more work to do tonight, tomorrow is my grading and teaching day, but maybe we could talk on Thursday. He thanked me. On Thursday, I'm sure I'll summon up some more assertiveness, but today I've said all I want to -- to anyone, about anything.