As I'm trying to be still, I'm getting some crochet projects finished and getting ahead on classwork. I have plenty to do, but I'm sooooo bored! One of the things the doctor told me when I was in the hospital was that I may not be taking in enough calories. I admit that moderation doesn't come easily to me, and now that I've gotten away from emotional eating (for the most part) I eat nutritious foods only when I'm hungry. I have my calorie tracker set for 1200/day but most days I don't get to 1000. I know this isn't good -- and may have contributed to my lightheadedness and messed up heart rate and blood pressure -- but I don't know how to fix it without eating food that isn't "bad". Now, I know that foods aren't "good" or "bad". The point is I'm eating what I feel like my body needs, but the doctor said I'm not consuming enough for a grown woman.
Today I am craving chocoloate, something I usually avoid -- unless I have someone to share with. If I let myself, I can get carried away and eat too much before I even stop to think about it. I'm not supposed to drive until tomorrow -- when my son asked why I said something about my "thigh hole" and that while I know I don't drive with my groin . . . "Say no more," he said. "For Lord's sake, say no more." If I'd been feeling more playful, I would have kept saying "thigh hole" and "my groin" until he ran screaming from the room, but instead I left it alone -- so I can't go get chocolate, but I do keep a good stock of baking supplies. Trying to keep it healthy, I made brownies using applesauce instead of oil. If you've never tried this, you'd be surprised by how well the applesauce works in almost any recipe.
My brownies are baking, I've finished grading for the day, and I'm halfway through a corner-to-corner baby blanket that I really like the looks of. The may not be one of my most stellar weekends ever, but it will end with a note of chocolate. That helps.
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