The Comfort of Home

After living in Florida for almost sixteen years, sometimes I feel like a native and sometimes I don't. I find myself missing many things about the DC area, including friends I haven't seen for a long time. There is great joy and comfort in spending time with an old friend who knows the same places and people I know. That was how I spent the majority of my day, reminiscing and catching up with a friend I hadn't seen in nearly twenty years. Of course, eight hours or so wasn't nearly enough time to catch up on everything; we barely scratched the surface. (This is the friend I mentioned last week whose son, I found out then, had tragically died in an accident last year.) For most of the time we knew each other, we were sort of on the periphery of each other's lives. We had a lot of the same friends, and I'd known her younger brother forever, but for whatever reason, we never became extremely close or spent a lot of time together, just the two of us.

We got closer when we were pregnant at the same time, and I remember her coming to my mom's house for a dip in the pool a few times, and my going to visit her at her home. She brought up today that I'd given her a beautiful crystal vase as a housewarming gift, and that she had treasured it for many years -- until a clumsy guest had knocked it over and broken it. I had to admit that I had absolutely no memory of the vase but that I was glad she had enjoyed it. We started and stopped many conversations; after all, twenty years is a long time, and it's easy to get distracted and wander into tangential territory. We talked about old places -- and people -- that aren't around anymore, and she caught me up on what our mutual friends have been up to. (She's lived in Florida only about two years, so she had seen many of them more recently than I had.)

We didn't do anything special, really. She met me at campus after my class and left her car; I drove us to Riverside where we enjoyed a light lunch, did some browsing and shopping, and sat outside at a cafe with a beer each while we lingered and talked longer. I'm having a hard time expressing how wonderful it was to be able to talk with someone who grew up where I did. It's almost (I imagine) like having to speak a different language in the country you're in and suddenly encountering someone who speaks your mother tongue. When I'm up north, I feel I somehow "fit in" better. It's so nice to have that without the twelve-hour drive!