Naptime

Have you ever noticed that the harder you try to sleep, the more difficult it becomes? I was reminded of that fact twice today: once when I woke up at 3:30 a.m. and again when I thought it would be a good idea to take a nap earlier this afternoon. My thought was that if I got a few hours of sleep, I might be better able to focus on the grading I have to get done for tomorrow morning's class. It didn't work out that way. I had a half-day scoring shift this morning, and after that -- and only four hours of half-decent sleep -- I'm not feeling up to the task. If I go to sleep early enough tonight, I can get up early enough to get it done, even though I leave my house at 8:00 for the 9:00 class. (I like to be there a half hour early.)

The good thing about having found out the full-time position at the nearby campus will be opening up again is that I have a chance at it, a good chance, I think. The bad thing is that I'm under a lot of performance pressure -- probably all self-induced -- to put myself higher in the running. I'm sure I'm already doing a fine job. Fine isn't enough for me. I want to be spectacular. But I find it increasingly harder to be spectacular, at least on a regular basis. For the remainder of today I'm allowing myself some time not to be spectacular. The world won't end if I get the papers returned tomorrow, but I think I will get them done anyway. I know my Saturday students have a lot of respect and "like" for me, but I don't want to take advantage of that.

All of those choices will wait until morning. Whether I actually go to sleep or not, I'm going to lie down. A little rest will do me good.