Being There

Showing up is always a good start -- and some days, it has to be enough. I had one of those days today. (At least I did better than a fourth to a third of my students who didn't get that far.) I woke up feeling not exactly sick, but ill at ease. I've had a creeping headache all day, along with alternating sweats and chills. No fever, just -- I guess -- bad body temperature regulation. Usually I am enthusiastic when I go out in the world; I'll admit that I don't always feel it, but I know that (and, yes, I know this will sound silly) happiness is contagious in the same way melancholy is. If I'm going to spread one, I'll go with the former. Today, though, I was having a hard time making it through class, not because I was melancholy but because I felt -- and apparently looked -- worn down.

Some of my students noticed; some didn't. I would imaging that some of them preferred the toned-down version of me. I get that my class spirit can be at least occasionally hard to take. Tomorrow is a light day (other than the five piles of essays I need to grade). I'm going to enjoy it. If I get enough grading done -- and really my Saturday class's papers will be enough -- I think I'll take a walk on the beach. I haven't been for some time and it's beautiful and uncrowded this time of year. Today it was even warm enough to go for a dip. No matter how crappy I feel, I can always bring it for my Saturday class, so I just need to work on pepping up for my other two classes by Monday. A little rest and sunshine should do the trick. I'm going to start on the former.