Notes to My Week-ago Self

If I could go back a week, here are a few things I would tell myself. It would have been good to have this information in advance.

1. Wear waterproof shoes and carry an umbrella when you go to the beach to help your son set up for his gig. I didn't do this and got so soaked that I didn't go to the show, only to the soundcheck. My son and I ran out to grab a bite and everyplace close was packed. We ended up walking quite a distance in the rain and afterwards I was so uncomfortable in my wet clothes and shoes that I didn't stay for the performance -- and they did "Psycho Killer" at the end! They hardly ever do covers.

2. Don't eat the Publix Superfoods Salad for lunch on Tuesday. Here's what I learned around 9:00 last night: If one isn't used to consuming copious amounts of kale, doing so can have quite a pernicious effect on the digestive system. I was still learning this lesson at midnight.

3. When you go to the doctor for your physical, don't consume anything first, even if you've already had your bloodwork. Your doctor might want to do more bloodwork, which could turn out to be inaccurate if you aren't fasting. I had to go back in this morning (after having my physical last week) and have one test redone. After my "intestinal incident" last night, I was dehydrated and my veins were cooperating even less than usual.

4. Don't leave the porch door open while you're engrossed in grading essays. This morning, I saw something out of the corner of my eye, moving in the living room corner. Mazie started barking like crazy. I looked behind the stereo speaker and saw a snake. I pulled out the speaker, while trying to keep Mazie out of the way, and used a broom to get the snake out. Meanwhile, it was darting its little forked tongue in and out, and I was freaking out. I did manage to push it outside, but not without injuring it a bit with the broom. I had to clean snake blood off my wood floors and sliding door threshhold. (The snake was fine.)

Knowing these things in advance would have made my life easier.