Trying to Make a Plan

My birthday is at the end of this month, and so far two good ideas for how to spend it have been thwarted. The first was perhaps a bit unrealistic, and I didn't get very far in those plans: taking a cruise. I nixed that idea when I found out I would have to pay for two people even if I went alone. My next thought was to do something closer to home, brunch with my son and his girlfriend followed by a just-for-me spa day. But I wanted to go to a specific amazing brunch I used to enjoy but hadn't been to for a few years. I discovered today that it's gone, and I can't say I'm surprised. While it was expensive, it was really high-quality -- with unlimited mimosas -- and if you timed it right and paced yourself, you could enjoy a lot of fabulous food. When I went, I usually tried to have just small amounts of a variety of items, but there were so many different foods on the buffet I still probably ate more than I should have. So maybe it's a good thing that it's not a birthday option.

I could still have a spa day, but I would like to do something with at least one of my kids. Maybe we could go to the beach instead of out for a meal. I don't want to make a big deal out of a birthday -- after all, it's not like I'm ten years old -- but it's been a rough year and that's as good a day as any to do something nice for myself. Whatever I'm doing, I don't want to be sitting around the house. I got an invitation to something in my email today that just happened to be on my birthday, I think it was some kind of singles event. Going out around people you don't know on your birthday is weird too; saying it's your birthday is awkward, and not saying so is also awkward. Oh, well, I'll figure something out.

This year will be hard too because my friend who died in the accident last week had his birthday a day after mine. It's still so soon, and I'm not sure I'm dealing so well with all of that. But I will. I'd like to say that doing something in his honor would help, but I can't think of anything. As our mutual friend said when I talked to him last week, "All we can do is say a prayer and do the best we can to get back to our lives." Maybe just the act of celebrating anything is a way to honor my friend.