Peripheral Loss

Last night my son and his girlfriend came over to visit, and after dinner -- and some late-birthday gifting for my little granddaughter -- my son noticed (on Yahoo or Facebook, I suppose, as he frequently looks at his phone) a mention of Robin Williams' suicide. This was sad, of course, and at first his girlfriend and his brother didn't believe him. Not that he makes things like that up, but it is perhaps the odd joke Robin Williams may have pulled. That he is gone is sad; that it seems he took his own life is even more sad. But just before we had eaten dinner, my son had told me a story that made that one seem a little less tragic. (I'm not necessarily comparing; this is just truly heartbreaking.)

My son works with a young man a year or so older than himself. The young man is very nice; he is also in a band and has helped my son's band book some gigs. When I go into my son's place of employment, said young man always greets me with a smile and has something nice to say. This young man had been with his girlfriend for five years. They had bought a house together and built a life together. They had things planned out pretty well and thought they were on their way. Last Friday night, she had a horrible headache. It got so bad she went to the emergency room. Within hours, she was on life support, and by Sunday she was dead. Just like that.

My first thought was that it had been an aneurysm, but that wasn't the case. Her cause of death hasn't been officially determined yet, but the doctors believe she had brain cancer that was never diagnosed. She was twenty-six years old. Her boyfriend, my son's friend and colleague, is still stunned. How can you come home from work on Friday and your life is fine, and by the end of the weekend, everything has changed? I suppose if there's any kind of lesson in there anywhere, it's to appreciate and live each day like it could be your last (and, yes, I realize how trite that sounds as I'm writing it, but it's also true). Today I spent the day at the beach with my oldest son and granddaughters.