I'm Such a Bitch!

Now I'm remembering why I haven't dated for the past few years. I don't want to be bothered. If I wanted to be more self-analytical (which I'm not in the mood for at the moment) I might wonder why it bothers me when someone I don't know very well asks about my day. Perhaps I should start at the beginning. It all goes back to that killer blue shirt I wore last week . . .

I had no intention of looking good. I was just taking the dogs to the vet. I'm pretty sure I hadn't even showered that morning, and I know I wasn't wearing make-up. My hair was pulled back in a huge clip. Ah, but the shirt! It is navy blue, solid jersey knit in the front with weird tie-dye on the back and sleeves. I think it makes me look tall and thin, although I never thought about it at all until I noticed that men kept looking at me and saying hello everywhere I went. (If they do that normally, I don't notice.)

So I was chatting away with the veterinary assistant, a very nice man about my age, and we had a lot in common. After the vet had examined the dogs and the assistant came back in, he asked if I'd like to go out to dinner some time. I was like, "Yeah, sure." It didn't even occur to me until later that he had asked me out on a date. Either he is very smooth or I am really dumb! Something about the way he phrased it made the whole thing sound very casual. But he called me the next night and I missed his call. He left a simple message, but I didn't call him back. Really, I would have, but the girls were here and I didn't get around to it. So Monday night he sent a short text. I responded and we talked on the phone for a while. He's nice, and we made a plan to have dinner next week, but I'm on the fence about all of this. (He just texted me a few minutes ago to ask how my day was.)

Shouldn't I feel good when someone wants to know about my day? I ask people I pass in my daily routine about their day and they ask about mine and it doesn't bother me. But already this guy is starting to feel like a pain in the ass. I don't think I'm ready to date yet, or maybe he's just not the right guy. It freaks me out when people seem too attached. And, by the same token, it freaks me out equally when I feel myself becoming too attached (which isn't the case this time). Oh, well. I'll just have to wear that shirt more often. And I'll probably cancel my date. I have enough going on without being stressed about men.